Hiring a Divorce Lawyer: Pros and Cons

When you and your couple have come to the final decision to finally have a divorce, then you should be considering of getting yourself a lawyer who should be able to make things easier along the long and painful process of divorce. There are a few things to consider while you look for the best legal lawyer who could help you out with the situation. Finding the right person is very crucial because hiring an inexperienced or out-dated lawyer could add more to your expenses. It is best to do your research on the qualities of a good lawyer or ask someone close to you who could recommend you to the right person.

Now, let us walk through some of the things you should consider before letting the person handle your sensitive life issue.

Check your lawyer’s experience

A divorce attorney should have sufficient knowledge in handling various situations like yours. Check your lawyers past clients and how he or she handled past cases, from doing this, you should be able to make a better overview of what he or she is capable of doing most especially when things get rough between you and your ex-partner. A good lawyer knows what to expect from the judges in your jurisdiction and know how to use this knowledge for your benefit

Check what his/her past clients have to say

Like what you do before buying anything online – always check reviews or testimonials from his or her past clients. Well, reviews do not lie, unless it is fabricated. It is always better to make sure that the past client is actually a past client of your chosen lawyer and who knows, you could be able to learn a thing or two from that past client on how to choose a lawyer or the things you should know before hiring that lawyer – you know, pros and cons.

Is the lawyer easy to contact?

Communication is a vital key to this situation. A good lawyer should always and could always respond to your questions, phone calls, or email in regards to the situation. Most likely, people who complain about their lawyer is related to being unable to properly communicate with them. So, check the schedule of your lawyer and understand to what extent he or she is willing to give you time. It is also advised to understand their office policy before hiring the lawyer.

Consider the fees and charges

Fees vary depending on the experience of the attorney. Normally, lawyers shall charge between $100 to $200 as the consultation fee. Meanwhile, some give a free consultation. Ask for the hourly rate of your lawyer and what the up-front retainer will be or if it’s refundable. Also, note how often you will get an invoice from them those details down the hourly rate and total payment to be made. Clearly, a contract outlining the fee agreement should be made between you and your attorney before hiring him or her. At the end of the day, you will still decide who should hire and you should make sure that the lawyer will be worth your money.

Signs of a Cheating Spouse

People say girls could never go wrong when it comes to sensing if there is something fishy with their partners, most especially if it is about cheating and other girls. In a relationship, men could not be the only one who could be doing nasty things behind their partner’s back. While signs and intuition can result to overthinking it is still best to confront your partner about what is bugging you. Getting enough evidence before claiming that your partner is cheating could also help to prove what you are pointing out, through this way, he or she might not be able to deny the lies anymore and admit to the mistake he or she have been doing. The discovery of your other half cheating, as you know it, might lead to separation and hatred against the other. It is up to the cheated person if he or she will still continue with his/her cheating partner. Some people who still choose to continue with their cheating partners call them crazy, but it could be the way to change them – to love them unconditionally. No, we are not saying that you should be stupid in the name of love, but rather be more understanding and patient and let the other person realize his/her mistakes and the consequences if do it all over again.

On the other hand, some people who cheat on their partners do not see at as a mistake but as their choice. In this case, accept the fact that he/she did it on purpose because perhaps your relationship is not working anymore. Before we dive into this painful conversation, let us first list down the signs that your spouse or partner could be cheating on you.

Frequent change of passwords

Sure, not all things about ourselves could be revealed to our partners. Everyone has secrets, fine. But if your partner used to share passwords with you, like you would always share social media accounts and phone passcodes, but then suddenly he or she changes it without you knowing it could mean something else. Being honest in a relationship is crucial. Sure, you can trust your partner and accept whatever reason they give you, so the first sign could be at first ignored. Remember that having malicious thoughts against your partner can also be damaging the relationship.

Going out without saying

Going out and letting the other one know where you would go is just a norm between couples. Not only parents have the right to know where you are going. Your spouse also has the right to know. If you notice that he or she has been going out a lot recently without you being involved in it, there definitely something. Married couples are there to be partners in life, how could partners in life go and do things unknown to the other?

Increased expenses

If you feel like he or she has been using the money and telling you where or how he/she used, then it is best and now time to confront your partner. Cheaters always find ways to cover up for their expenses when going out and have fun with another person behind you. But remember, that communication is also the key and just thinking and believing that he/she is actually cheating when you do not have enough evidence to prove it.

Questions to Ask before Filing a Divorce

Marriage is something that we do not decide overnight, it is something that takes years that involves of an emotional rollercoaster with the person that you decide to live with. The process of dating is not an easy thing either as there could be a lot of differences between individuals that do not seem to match up, but always remember that true love always endures until the end. However, under some circumstances, human feelings can change too, in fact, it could change easily given that the situation is undesirable for both parties. A failing marriage can be avoided if both parties agreed to make things work so before you decide to file and get a divorce with your partner, think of the possibilities, the risks, and the questions you should be asking before proceeding with your final decision. Divorce is very damaging not only to both parties but also the people around the couple – their children, their friends, and their families. Think about it carefully.

Have I already tried everything to make the marriage work?

At the end of the day, whether it’s a recurring argument, incompatibility, or infidelity, ask yourself – is divorce the best solution? Remember that divorce aside from being painful can also get messy and expensive. Determine what event triggers you to think that divorce is the best resolution and why that event kept on happening, have you tried everything to make it work again? If you think that your marriage has a high chance of being saved, calling out for marriage counseling is a good option too rather than just ending the relationship right away. Give it a thought carefully but also do not wait too long until the time comes off your marriage to become irreparable.

Is this a safe place for me and my children?

Know that no one deserves to have an abusive partner and if you thin that you and your children are in danger then you better act fast to get out of the house for the safety of your children most especially. Call a lawyer or have an immediate legal consultation for the steps that you could take to make everything fall in the right places. Sometimes, when a relationship becomes abusive, it’s still hard to part ways, but think of this as a way of protecting those who mean a lot to you. Putting yourself in danger can also hurt those who love you. Talk about domestic abuse to your lawyer and file a restraining order if needed.

I’m decided to proceed, am I prepared for a divorce?

Understand that divorce can be a long, painful, and stressful process, are you ready for this? If divorce is the only option you have, then you better prepare yourself physically, emotionally, and financially. If you have children, be prepared for the custody war with your partner, different agreements of income, debts, and other assets. Joint account will be frozen, utility bills will be changed, and the family pet, if you have, should be negotiable too. Of all the hassle that you will go through ahead, if you think that this decision will be worth it, and this will be for the safety of your children, then get the best lawyer to have your back.

Ways to Feel Better After a Divorce

Breakups are one of the most painful experiences a human being could possibly experience. Of course, no one would ever want to feel pain while they are living in this world, but no matter how we want to avoid stressful things, negative things really do happen and all we could do is stay strong and cope with it. People have different ways one could do to feel better after a breakup, different methodologies apply to different personalities. However, it will still depend on the person moving on, on how he or she would handle the breakup. Some broken souls are having a hard time to move on because they keep on looking back at their past or they keep on blaming themselves for what has happened, some hold on grudges they could not just let go unless they take a good revenge. No matter the situation is, remember that there are always ways and options to end this suffering and it could be up to you and the people around you.

It’s okay to mourn

The primary rule of breakup is that do not hold back the emotions that you kept on hiding during the days of your distress. Know that it is fine to cry over a breakup and crying does not mean that you are weak, sometimes crying means you stood strong for so long that it exhausts you physically and emotionally. Letting out all the negative emotions could greatly lessen the pain. Call your most trustworthy friend over and have a heart to heart talk.

Learn to love yourself

Any mistakes done in the past is already in the past, what you can do is accept that you also made a mistake and that you will use that dark past to be a better person. This stage is very crucial, one can either destroy oneself or make oneself a whole new better person. At this point, it depends on the person on how he or she would handle the situation. Seeking a professional help, a psychiatrist or psychologist could also be the best option. Remember that the pain you feel will always come back to you as long as you still hold onto the grudge and as long as you feel guilty. Everyone makes mistake, forgive you, as the Father also forgives those who committed sins against him. Understand that negative feelings can bring you nowhere but to self-destruction.

It’s okay to be alone

There is nothing wrong to be alone. While most people think that being alone is scary, there are also perks of being a wallflower. Taking time alone can give you time to rethink your life, a time to reflect on yourself and your past actions and decisions; taking time alone give clarity to the mind and brighter future plans. Always remember that being with someone does not always mean you are not alone. It’s better to be alone with yourself than being with someone and still feeling alone – that is more painful, right?

Know who you used to be & the new side of you

Oftentimes, breakup and painful experiences give us lessons. We do not want to miss that. After a painful breakup, it is now time to rediscover who you really are. Start finding yourself that you lost in someone else’s life, discover what have you become after the past experiences you have been through and do not be afraid to admit if the transformation that happened to you is negative. Take time to understand what you want and who you have become and gradually restore the real you. Things like these really take time, be patient with yourself and let time heal the wounds.

Signs of a Failing Marriage

We all know that marriage is not something that we could play by. Marriage is something that couples try to cherish and do everything to make it work. There is nothing more painful than a failing marriage most especially when children are starting to get dragged or get affected by the couples’ misunderstanding and arguments. There are many reasons why marriage fail, or even relationships fail, it could be a conflict with schedule, negligence, adultery, cultural differences, and behavior mismatch; of all the reasons that you could think of as to why marriages or relationship fails, we should also think about the people around us who will also be affected by the choices we are making; children, your partner, your family, etc.

Most couples who are in a chaotic marriage often asking “how do I know if starting to fall out?” or “are we taking a path towards divorce?” According to the couples that we encountered, there are a couple of issues that kept on happening between parties which could lead to permanent disagreements and unending arguments. We are going to discuss the top five main issues between couples that became the reason of separation or divorce. The items below could possibly or hopefully make realizations.

Being disrespectful with each other

Disrespect with one another begins when an argument and misunderstanding continues without hearing out one another. Disrespect is often the result of an unresolved issue which not being spoken upon thus resulting to overthinking, resentment, and impatient which could further cause avoidance of one another. The best thing to do when there is an unresolved issue is to talk about it – there is nothing more effective than communicating. By communicating we mean a two-way conversation, you listen and understand the other and respond, not listen and respond, leaving the understanding behind. This is one of the common causes as to why pairs resort to separation.

There is no more productive communication

Marriage starts to fall when couples are both unresponsive to one another. Due to an unresolved issue, differences, or misunderstanding pairs who start to give up on giving chances and patience will soon stop to make productive communication. If your marriage is now mostly about arguments even of the small things, perhaps it’s time to get help from a professional couples therapists or marriage counsel. When both parties decided to close their ears to each other, everything will definitely fall apart.

The trust is gone

Couples who are always suspecting one another is not a healthy habit and it will soon be the cause of a failed marriage. Losing trust can be caused by secrets being kept from one another. At this rate, remind one another the promise each kept at the altar. When trust is gone, the chance of separation and divorce is high. How could you be with someone you are unsure of? The feeling of safety will leave, and unwanted and negative thoughts will start to dominate the mind which is toxic for both parties.

Sexual intimacy is low or non-existent

Sexual intimacy is an indication of a healthy marriage. If you notice that the intimacy between you and your partner is low due to arguments then maybe it’s time to open up and talk about it. It could be that both parties are just contemplating and do not want to hurt their ego. Remember that in marriage, it’s better to lose and hurt your ego a little than losing the person you cherish the most. It’s not too late to open up and start a healthy conversation when both pairs try to make everything work again.

Conversation is often dominated by financial issues

One of the bad sign of marriage is when a couple’s conversation is being dominated by financial arguments. When one hides something about debts, income, bills, and commitments, the other one will start to make allegations and false accusations; even worse, when the other starts to make lies and get caught with it. If you notice that your conversation with your partner is mostly about financial arguments, then it’s time to check on everything.